9 ways to find your purpose
And why that concept is bullsh*t
Every week a common theme with my clients bubbles up. Right now people are feeling a lot of internal and external pressure to figure out who they are, who they’re meant to be, and how to get there. NBD.
Here’s some over-the-counter instant relief, darlings— no one has it all figured out. There’s no destination. In fact, it’s not even that serious.
I’ve made a mistake by using the language “find your soul purpose” and “what you’re here to do” in some of my branding and sessions. A friend pointed out that this implies she should know what that is. And she thinks most of us don’t. “At least I don’t”, she shared.
And she’s right. The concept feels grandiose at best, and like spiritual toxicity at worst. So I’m tossing it out the window, and getting real clear on how to find meaning in the mundane.
Your purpose is already alive and humming within the small moments of your “you-ness”. It could be your career, but even that is too limiting. It’s the sound of your laugh. The way you wash your dishes. Your playlist. Your least favorite foods. Your outfits. What you cook, what you write, how you pour a cup of coffee. It’s in the way you drive, and listen to the birds, or find your new favorite podcast. Your chronic illness, how you constantly forget your keys, or get angry at your mother-in-law.
Being alive is enough of a purpose. Surviving is enough of a purpose. It is simply your worth to be, and to be here.
Achieving this state of awareness could get real philosophical real fast. So let me break it down for you in practical tools with small steps, starting with one of my favorite quotes by Walt Whitman.
“I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware I sit content,
And if each and all be aware I sit content.
One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me, and that is myself,
And whether I come to my own today or in ten thousand or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with equal cheerfulness, I can wait.”
The tricky part is feeling worthy of the life we have in this moment. To know we are enough. I found it’s easy to understand intellectually, but feeling like you’re already living the life you’re meant to is harder to grasp. Here are 9 tips to help with embodying your worthiness:
Don’t put pressure on yourself. Stop it right now.
Start with awareness. Sit with the concept that you’re already living you’re purpose. You’re already doing what you’re meant to do moment to moment. You don’t have to believe it yet, just get familiar with the idea.
There is no right or wrong. Let go of perfectionism and control.
Live a life of curiosity. Ask questions. Reserve judgment.
Let your restlessness be your guide. If you’re considering a boxing class, you have information about what your body likes to do. If you’ve bookmarked a recipe, your purpose is to bake. You don’t have to any of these things. It’s enough to know what you want.
While there’s no destination, we can still make room for evolution. You can still have dreams, and change careers, and seek out what makes you happiest (and happier).
There are no rules. When it comes to living your life or knowing the meaning of your life, don’t forget that you don’t know what you don’t know.
Get a sense of what lights you up. Investigate in your body how you know when you’re doing something that makes you happy. One client says he feels a warmth in his heart. Follow that as much as you can.
You don’t need to know the bigger picture. It’s already unfolding for you. And the Universe is so much more creative than you could ever be.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about all this in the comments. And if you’d like a session to be guided through this process and identify what lights you up, I have a few openings left.
Stay curious,
Christina