How to do it scared
A vulnerable share on white-knuckling change
This post is packed. You’ll get:
A glimpse into the useful tools and topics you’ll find here
A personal story of being afraid, but doing it anyway
We’re 5 posts into this thing together and I’m delighted each time I hear that you’ve found value along the way. I chose Substack because its heartbeat is community and supporting creators. I’m going to give you a heck of a lot more helpful content and interesting discussions with experts, so I hope you’ll stick around. While many of you already know who I am, this is a good post to forward to friends who are interested in engaging with the topics below.
Here’s a ‘stacked list of what you can expect from me:
Topics and themes:
Neuroscience, psychology, epigenetics, biohacking
Personal growth
Break through limiting beliefs
Intuition development tools
Conscious living and finding purpose
Career coaching
Make clear decisions
Creative expression
Energetic healing
Mind-body-soul wellbeing
Emotional wellbeing
Consciousness expansion
Release trauma stored in the body
For the spiritually curious:
Metaphysics
The supernatural world
Spirit Guides
Breaking unwanted ancestral patterns
Soul journeys
Tarot readings
Interactive insights:
Mini Clarity Sessions
Interviews with experts
Personal stories (like my years of experience facilitating incarcerated men at San Quentin Federal Prison)
Custom mindfulness meditations
Practical tools to move through changes and transitions
Ways to book a private session, group event, corporate wellness workshops, and more
I figure it’s as good a time as any to share a little bit about my difficult and rewarding journey of leaving the comfort zone and dedicating my life to your holistic wellbeing and emotional freedom. I real-talk about the path to purpose. Since I’m just starting on an unfamiliar path, so maybe you’ll recognize yourself in the pieces of my personal story. At best, maybe you’ll get inspired to be more courageous and go after the things that burn inside you, too.
Last night I was wide awake until 5am obsessing over the soft launch of my website, and bursting with creative ways I can use my potent gifts to be in service of helping people heal and transform on a deep soul level. I was also questioning all my life choices and am uncomfortably aware of my need for validation in the void. When a close friend asked me how I was doing, I said that I am worried that my intensity is driven by fear, and this was going to be my new norm as a solopreneur. “I’m a perfectionist and can’t seem to find my equilibrium or confidence right now. And it’s lonely”, I admitted. She encouraged me to consider that this obsessive quality of my personality is somewhat necessary at this stage of birthing a business. “Dedication and obsession can look similar,” she wisely advised. “Keep going.”
When I shift my driving force from fear to hope, I’m able to get out of my ego and offer the whole thing up to the driving force of the Universe. As a recovering control-freak, knowing I’m not in charge gives me relief.
If there’s anything that my life choices have taught my about myself, it’s that I may be scared, but I’ll do it anyway. I’ve jumped out of a plane 10,000ft in the air, but that’s not exactly what I mean. My whole life I’ve known what I want. And because I promise to always be real with you—it is not convenient. But I can’t un-know what aches inside me. It’s a constant whisper that doesn’t go quiet—the more ignore it, the louder it gets. And in the moment, what I want makes no practical sense.
Ignore the warning label
People often tell me that I’m “lucky”. I think that’s because from the outside my ability to go for it (and mostly have it work out) may seem easy. I tell them that they’re only seeing the victory, and not the war. I tell them my life isn’t for the faint of heart.
Depending how you’re conditioned, I’m either brave or insane. I struggle with self-worth and doubt just like every human. And then I hoist those heavy feelings on my back, and trudge forward in a relentless pursuit of what feels intuitively right.
Find the ones that know you the best, and be vulnerable with them. I could not do this without the support from people I love. During a recent panic, my best friend of 28 years told me she’d bet on me every time. My choices may have caused my family sleepless nights, but they still encourage me. You know what that is? Lucky.
The liminal space between desire and success is a mess. The mess is where your life expands beyond your limiting beliefs.
I practiced before I preached. The fiery passion ignites, I get clear on what I want, I grab hold of the aligned opportunities when they come, and hang on for dear life. I’ll get into the juicy details that will help you on your path in upcoming posts, but for now here’s a sprinkle of the story that led me to leaving everything comfortable behind so I could help people live as their most authentic selves.
In my most recent past life, one of those persistent whispers told me to leave NYC and my good-on-paper career run. I had been telling people I wanted to live in California; I was either going to stop saying that… or go do it. So I one-way ticketed to San Francisco, where I had no friends, and no job. But the ocean was built into the culture there and that was a good start.
That flight led me to a successful career on the founding sales team for tech startups in Silicon Valley. I picked the companies based on a combination of opportunity and intuition. The “don’t be afraid to fail” mentality and cult-ish camaraderie was perfect for me back then. I poured myself into my first job until we IPO’ed. And did that at 3 more companies. The formula was doing something I genuinely loved, with a team I felt good around. I became a thousandaire overnight— the first thing I did was pay off my education, the second thing was take a sabbatical.
As my career chugged along, I sought out more meaningful missions at smaller companies with bigger challenges. As the Head of Sales at a tiny education startup with wonderful humans, I wore many different hats, including writing marketing and brand materials. In doing that work, I unearthed a dream of mine to be on a creative team, script Superbowl commercials, and see my words on a billboard. And then I really wanted that. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling—it felt like I started a wildfire I wasn’t prepared to manage.
We hear about the phoenix rising from the ashes, but we don’t often hear about the heat of the fire. In order to transform, I had to burn white hot in every emotion and sear through every scalding self-doubt.
And I did. I spent the last 7 years grinding—taking creative brand writing jobs for free, seeking mentorship, and perfecting my craft. If you’re looking for tips on how to pivot, I wrote about it in 2018 here.
You don’t have to be psychic to know where this is going. I got a full-time creative Brand Writer job at a startup. I wrote high-production commercials. Another IPO. And on a highway in D.C. I couldn’t believe my eyes—there were my words on a billboard. And along the proverbial road trip, I got another hit of inspiration to get a side-gig as a voice actor where some of my work has been featured to over 40million listeners.
I’m pushing past the cringe of the humble brags because by following the magnetic pull of my purpose in life, I’ve built a deep bond with my intuition and I fully trust myself to leap and land. It’s a perspective I wish for everyone, and why I am teaching how to swap fear for freedom.
Kicked out of the comfort zone
Sometimes you don’t have the luxury of choosing your next destination. When the Universe has other plans for you, you’ll know it. In May 2023 (and shortly after choosing to leave the home I loved for 15 years with no next destination), I unexpectedly lost my job. I was devastated, heartbroken, ashamed, and my self esteem was at a low. I allowed myself a grieving process, self pity, and incessant anxiety. And at the same time, I knew that even though I hadn’t fully chosen this change, I understood I was being guided to reevaluate my life’s purpose. Just before 2024 crested, I stopped job-hunting because I knew what was next— a life of being in service to others.
At first-glance, the logistics of my dreams are a nightmare, because we are fed a false narrative that being comfortable means we are safe.
I’ve left all of that stability behind to build this dream of helping more people live a deeper more authentic life, too. As a hobby, I began giving sessions in the pandemic (when the world needed it badly). Now this is my whole life’s work, and I’m in the fire of this all-in endeavor. I have no proof that it will work out. And I’m struggling to cover my expenses. It is the scariest thing I’ve ever done, the hardest I’ve ever worked, and the most I’ve ever cared. There’s no turning back. So I allow. I surrender. I trust.
While I’m in a lonely echo chamber and forgetting to come up for air most of the day, I know I’m not truly alone. Support is an infinite loop, so thank you for being here with me. I am here for you.
Ready to book a private session to get clarity on what’s possible for you? We got this.
Stay curious,
Christina
We really really benefit by hearing from each other’s experience. We want to know: when’s the last time you took a leap of faith?